There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
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