is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
