i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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