Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize