i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
