I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
