I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
