dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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