i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
