Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
