yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
