In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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