That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Randomize
