Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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