trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
