Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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