he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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