I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
