i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize