Will you blow on my dice?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
