sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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