I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
