I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
