You can't special order awesome
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize