i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
