Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
