I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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