i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
