I forgot how hot balto sounded
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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