Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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