We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
