But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
