He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
