I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
