Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
