the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 607 share tweet
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize