You're my little dorito
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
