Princesses don't give blow jobs
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
third nipple confirmed
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
