She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
