You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
