my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
where does the pee come out of this thing
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
