i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
