You can't motorboat a personality
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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