Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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