Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
