I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
