Dude my mom stole all your condoms
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
