just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
