The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
