I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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