But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize