Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
