Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
