We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
