i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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