Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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