He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize