i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
