My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
