I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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