I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
