a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
