she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Of course I have a pirate flag
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
