i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
